


A place to belong

by HDMICord



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Norse Religion & Lore, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Author walks all over both marvel and mythology canon, Gen, Hela Loki and Sigyn being agents of chaos., Hurt Loki (Marvel), Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Has Issues, Odin's Bad Parenting (Marvel), suicidal idealation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26617354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HDMICord/pseuds/HDMICord
Summary: AU divergent after TDW.Loki dies on Svartalfheim and wakes up in Hel, where he meets his almost sister and her lady. The three of them become a family and cause minor mischief along the way.
Relationships: Hela & Loki (Marvel), Hela/Sigyn, Loki & Sigyn (Marvel)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First posted work. AU.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't promise a regular update schedule, as I am rather busy and will probably only get more so, But I'll try to not leave you hanging for too long. Sorry if the chapter division seems a bit off, I'm posting it as I write it because otherwise I'll never get anything done. If you see any mistakes, feel free to point them out. Any constructive criticism is also appreciated, as this is my first fanfiction.

"I never wanted the throne, I only wanted to be your equal.”

And that truly was all he had wanted. It didn’t matter that Thor would get the throne; that was not the problem. The problem was that Loki had never been considered at all for the position. No one had thought he would have been a proper ruler. It was always assumed that Thor would get the throne, and that that would be that. No, Loki did not want the throne, but he had wanted to be acknowledged as fit for it. 

But Thor was not ready. He was reckless, liable to lead his armies into unnecessary peril, and to start wars that need not be started. He was arrogant, and cared not for matters of politics. He could learn, but he was not yet ready. 

And Loki had tried to show Odin that, had tried to make Odin understand that Thor was not ready to be king, but it had gone too far. Thor had been banished, and Loki was not Odin’s son after all, and then he had almost killed Thor, and he still knew not what he had been thinking. It was all lost in a haze of self-loathing, and desperation, and pain.  
When he let go he fell for what seemed like an eternity, alone with his thoughts. And so his mind festered. His thoughts all became rotten, and his only desire was to find somewhere where he’d belong, somewhere he could show everyone that he was worthy, even if deep down he believed he wasn’t. 

He didn’t belong anywhere. He had tried to kill Thor, which meant he did not have a place in Asgard, and he had been abandoned by the Jötnar, so there was nowhere he could call his own. Thanos had offered him a realm that he could call his own if he brought Thanos the Tesseract. 

By the time Thanos found Loki, his mind was weak, and his defences low. It only took a little persuasion from The Other in his head, and the mind stone’s influence, and he was sent on his way. 

You see, the mind stone is an amplifier of sorts. It takes your strongest, loudest, most powerful thoughts, and makes them all the more powerful. Loki had wanted a place to belong, so when it was used on him that became his impetus. Had he been in a stable state of mind, it is not likely that he would have been as easily affected, but after the disaster of the week before he let go on the bridge his mind was a wreck. 

Things had gone wrong as soon as Loki had seen Thor. His thoughts turned towards Thor instead of the tangle of wanting that had driven him to that point. Because of this, the grasp of the stone slipped a little. No longer was the need for a place to belong the only thought in his mind, as Thor was offering him a chance to go back. But this was not nearly strong enough to overthrow his other thoughts, and so the attack continued, until he was beaten into the floor by the Green Monster. 

The link in his mind broke, and he was left laying on the floor in a daze, his thoughts jumbled. As his mind cleared his first thought was that nobody would believe him, after all, he was a trickster, and those in Asgard were not overly fond of him, and it was clear the Midgardians would not be either, as he had tried to take over their realm. 

So he put on a mask, so as to retain some dignity even as he was sent in front of the Allfather, and said nothing of his time in the corners of the universe. No one would believe him, so why bother. 

It was better this way anyway. Even though Thanos could not leave his planet, he still felt safer in a cell, where he knew Thanos could not reach him. It mattered little, or so he told himself, that look of pain on Frigga’s face, and the disgust in varying degrees on the faces of Odin and the other court officials. His sleep was plagued with visions of the people he had killed, but this was still better. Even though Thor never visited him, and the guards looked at him with revulsion written on their faces, and he sometimes found rocks or bugs in his food, that was okay, this was all for the best. 

The longer Loki spent in his cell, the less he liked it there. The cell itself was not the problem, however; Frigga had given him far more luxury than the average prisoner. No, the problem was the other prisoners. 

Most of the cells were filled with warriors who’d overindulged on liquor, and were therefore loud, disorderly, rude, and had absolutely no filter. They frequently sent insults Loki’s way, or mistook him for a woman and make overly sexual comments regarding his hips and face. The only satisfaction Loki got was the obvious discomfort on their faces the following morning, once their mead had worn off and they got hit with the aftereffects of all that drinking. 

Then there were those sent to the cells for changes related to sedition. Even if Loki was a prisoner he was still a former prince, and most of these people hated him. Most of them vented their frustrations by hurling jibes his way and making snide remarks about the royals family. 

By the time a year had rolled around Loki was about done with the universe. Of course, by then war had broken out and the dungeons were over-crowded. At least they hadn’t made him share a cell. He wasn’t sure he would be able to bear that for longer than 2 minutes. 

Just when he thought things couldn’t get worse, there was a jailbreak, and then Thor finally talked to him for the first time since Loki was brought back to Asgard.  
But then a guard had brought him news of Frigga’s death, and Norns had he lost it. When he was semi-capable of rational thought again the guilt set in. It was all his fault; he had sent Kurse to her chambers, he had effectively killed her all for some petty revenge against Odin. The only one who maybe cared about him even a little, dead, because of him. 

And then, before his grief could even start to settle, Thor had come again and dragged him out of his protected cell, forcing him to don a mask once again; to pretend to be who he was not and hide his susceptibilities from the world. 

When he was on Svartalfheim, barely hanging on, he realized that there was nobody and nothing left for him to hang on for, no reason for him to continue living.  
And so, as darkness slowly took over his sight, he let go again. Much like the first time on the bridge, he expected to never wake again, but this time he surely would not, for this time there was no wormhole, and he was already almost dead. Surely this had to be the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this fic Fenrir is Hela's pet, because who doesn't want a giant wolf as a side-kick, am I right? Sigyn and Hela are dating in this, because I think that the cinematic Loki, or at least the Loki from the first movies from which I base his character mostly, is probably on the ace spectrum.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The actual new content.

And so, as darkness slowly took over his sight, he let go again. Much like the first time on the bridge, he expected to never wake again, but this time he surely would not, for this time there was no wormhole, and he was already almost dead. Surely this had to be the end. 

Except that it wasn’t. 

* * *

**Child, awaken and listen to me.**

_Who-who are you?_

**I am a part of everything.**

_Where am I? Why have you called me here?_

**I have a message.**

. . . 

**Balance is the key; without it nothing would be.  
Remember this, for you have great things ahead. **

_What do you mean?_

**. . .**

* * * 

The black behind Loki’s eyes slowly fades to grey as he wakes up. He vaguely remembers a voice, but exactly what it said seems to be just out of his grasp. Something about balance and wait- 

Balance is the key.

What did that mean? 

“-ey, hey, Hey! Are you awake?” 

Loki’s brain catches up to his surroundings, and he opens his eyes. Leaning over him a woman with long, black hair and brilliantly green eyes. Her features looked familiar, though Loki wasn’t quite sure why. 

“I don’t know, am I?” He asked in response to the woman’s question. 

“I think so,” she replied. “Or at least it appears so.” 

“Who are you?” 

“Hela. And before you ask, you’re in Helheimr.” 

“So I’m finally dead, then.” 

“Technically, yes.” 

“...What happens now?” 

“Well, Sigyn is making some... food.” 

“Why the pause, and who in the Nine is Sigyn?” 

“My beloved is a great lady, but, neither of us are particularly adept cooks. It’s probably edible though? Not like it can kill you anyway.” 

“...” 

“...” 

“Alright then. My question was not answered, though. What happens now, I can’t imagine the dead simply stay here for all eternity. Nobody actually wants to live forever.” 

“That is true, but to answer your question, that depends on you.” 

“What are my options?” 

“You can stay here, with Sigyn and I, or I can send you off with the rest of the souls who’ve come here.” 

Loki paused. “Why would I stay with you?” If this truly was the queen of Hel, then why would she offer him a place with her and her consort? 

“Why, because you are my brother of course.” 

What? Odin had never had any other children, had he? Unless...was she one of Laufey’s? She didn’t look like one of the Jötnar, but then again neither did he. Before he could question this, Hela continued. 

“Well, I’m technically Thor’s half-sister. The Allfather-,” and the way she said it was mocking, “-and my mother had...relations before his marriage to Queen Frigga.” 

So a bastard child then. Why wasn’t he surprised. 

“So do you wish to stay here?” 

Loki thought about it. On one hand, he really wanted nothing more than to end what was left of his existence, and to never have to worry about any of the mess he’d gotten himself into ever again. To be free from Odin, and Thor, and everything else that brought him pain including, most importantly, himself. On the other, He was still out there, and the universe was in grave danger. 

Evidently his pause was long enough to convey his inner dissent, for Hela spoke up again. 

“You don’t have to choose right away. You can stay with us for a while, and if you decide you wish to continue on towards the end of your journey, you are welcome to. If you choose to stay, we will welcome you gladly. You ought to know, though, that there is an energy inside you, far more powerful than anything I have ever felt. I know not what it is, or why you carry it, but it led me to you when you first fell here. Your aura lit up the atmosphere for great lengths, and you glowed so brightly that I could see it, even from here.” 

“I-I know not of what you speak.” An energy. What did she mean? To his knowledge he held no great power within himself. But then he remembered the words; You have great things ahead. The whole conversation, short though it was, came back to him. He had great things ahead. What great things? He was filth, a monster, they must be mistaken. 

And yet, he knew they were not. At least, not about the power. For now that he tried, he could feel it, lying dormant inside him, waiting to be tapped into and let out. He had to admit, he was curious. He could also not in good conscience leave the universe at the mercy of...Him. And so, with that in mind, he made a choice. 

“I shall stay with you.” 

* * *

Why had he chosen to stay? He could not pretend to be a hero, such as Thor and his group of comrades; couldn’t make himself believe that he could ever be anything other than the monster he was, but. Monster or not, he couldn’t stand idly by and let everything disappear. It’s not like he had anything left to lose, even if he had nothing to stay for either.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot is finally starting to show

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, yeah, updating regularly? I don't know her. Here's this mess though *yeets chapter* 
> 
> I also think I ended it in an awkward place... welp, nothing for it now. 
> 
> Happy Holidays!

Back before most of what we know now existed, there was Ymir. Ymir lived by himself, fed by a cow, and that was all there was; Ymir and the cow. Ymir continued to exist, but other beings started filling the universe, both the descendants of Ymir; the “giants,” and others, others who thought Ymir maleficent. 

Members of the latter group included those who would eventually be known as Asgardians, and they sought and killed Ymir. From his body came many things; from his blood the sea, from his flesh the earth, from his bones the hills, from his hair the trees, from his skull the heavens, from his brain the clouds, and from his eyebrows Midgard. 

And so Ymir is a part of everything, and he lives on in every handful of soil, every tree, and most importantly, every one of his descendants. It is rumoured that one day, when they are in trouble, they will call upon Ymir’s soul, and he will place among them one who will deliver the universe, from even the gravest threat to their existence. 

***

“I shall stay with you.”

After Hela left Loki to clean himself up a bit he sat there, his brain processing the boatload of information that had been foisted upon it. He still wasn’t quite sure that this was indeed reality, but the more time passed, the less certain he became that it wasn’t. It wouldn’t be that far-fetched for Odin to have had relations with another woman before his marriage, and Hela looked old enough for it to be plausible.

He stood up, and in doing so realized that all his wounds were healed, though his clothing still carried bloodstains, and a giant hole through the center. He removed his armour and lifted his shirt, exposing the myriad of faint scars littered across his torso, but none of his recent injuries appeared to have left so much as a mark. Loki wandered in the direction of the bath, taking note of the new sensations caused by walking. It was as if all his former injuries had been erased; he felt the absence of pains he hadn’t even known he’d had, so long had he lived with them. 

Once he’d undressed, he spent quite some time scrubbing the blood off of himself, and relishing in the feeling of being able to stretch out fully in the tub, after so long of no both at all, and then the meagre proportions of the bath in his cell. Upon leaving, he realized that someone had been thoughtful enough to leave him some clothes, and so he dressed, and headed out to see if he could locate Hela or her wife. 

He found them both in what appeared to be a kitchen, after minimal wandering around. After politely greeting the duo and introducing himself to Sigyn, he joined them in tea and discussion. 

It seemed that Odin had sent Hela here when she was but a child, upon his marriage to the Queen, and had bound her to the realm by some sort of spell, preventing her from leaving. Sigyn had joined Hela here some century or two ago, but the two had been friends before, and so when Hela recognized Siygn she invited her to stay, just as she had with Loki. 

After about an hour filled with discussion of this sort, Loki brought something up. He had been thinking about Hela’s explanation of the spell that had her bound, and realized that he had heard of it somewhere, and just might know how to remove it. 

“I’m sure I could rid you of it. Even a lesser mage than I would be able to, given enough time, and with my level of power it ought not take overly long.” He shrugged “A day or two, perhaps three at most ought to do the trick.” 

Hela was sceptical. “Are you sure? That seems far too easy. Would not Odin make it more complicated?” 

Loki smirked. “Much of the Allfather’s rumoured power comes from Frigga. While Odin has strength, the Allmother is a much more competent mage than he could ever hope to be. While he was able to place such a spell on you, I sincerely doubt that he would be able to place one of too high a calibre. I also suspect that he did not foresee you having company, and you yourself are not a skilled mage, if you’ll pardon me saying, and even if you were, you have none to teach the proper way to wield such power.” 

“Fair enough,” Hela conceded. 

“If you could leave, where would you wish to go?” Loki asked. 

Sigyn piped up “I’d like to visit Vanaheimr; it’s been so long since I got to see it.” 

“I just want to see somewhere that isn’t here,” Hela sighed. 

“That’s doable, though I rather doubt you’d wish to visit someplace like Hala or Skrullos” Loki replied. 

“Eh, might be exciting. Are they still fighting? It’s been almost two millennia since I was cast here, and they were at it back then, too.” 

“How old exactly are you? I know you had to have been born before the marriage of Odin and the Allmother, but you don’t look it.” Loki remarked. 

“3,620 years, though I haven’t aged for about 2,080 of those. Our bodies stop decaying once we’ve died, for they are held together by magic rather than cellular metabolism. Otherwise, when the dead arrived, they would not be able to heal, or they would age indefinitely. Technically, they can also return to their youth, though the age of their minds remains the same,” Hela responded. 

“Hel must have one hel (hehe) of a magical core in order to sustain the lives of so many on magic alone,” Loki mused. 

This time it was Sigyn who responded. “While that is true, we can also aid in the process of staying alive by eating and sleeping, for though we have no true need of it, it helps maintain our bodies, and speeds up healing if we get hurt.” 

Hela mumbled something under her breath then. Loki caught part of it, which sounded like “cooking” and “unfit for consumption. ”

“Do you get hurt often?” Loki asked. 

“Not really, no, but occasionally the warriors let a beast of some sort escape, or one of them comes through here first, and then we have to either kill it if it’s a real threat or calm it down if it’s spooked so that it doesn’t trample anyone. Most of the time the animals stay in the forest though.” She responded. 

There hadn’t been much written about Helheimr in Asgard’s library, mostly because in order to see it, one had to be dead, and no one had successfully brought anyone back from the dead, not really. Because of this, Helheimr was a blank in the knowledge of even Loki, who prided himself on knowing almost everything one could know about the universe, having read almost everything in Asgard’s library, and even written a few works of his own. (To be honest, though, Asgard's library was nowhere near as diverse as Vanaheimr’s, and Loki hadn’t had much opportunity to read there, and so his knowledge was both limited and rather biased when it came to certain other realms.) Naturally, this meant that Loki was curious and willing to learn anything he could about Hel, even if there was no one he could relay that information to, at least not yet. 

“How are the dead kept confined to this realm?” He asked. “It’s not like anyone could stop them from building a Bifrost, or following the tunnels to other realms I am sure exist here.” 

“It’s part of the spell; we cannot survive in realms other than this one. Our bodies cannot exist without the magic of Helheimr keeping us from decaying.” 

That was...interesting. This meant that Hela may not have a binding spell on her, as she thought, but instead be tied to the planet itself, in which case freeing her would be more difficult, and he’d have to do it to Sigyn and himself as well. 

He mentioned this to Hela. “I have heard of this being done to certain creatures, to prevent them from being set free on the realms, but I haven’t run across how it is done, or how to remove it. I fear it would require a great source of power.” 

To be honest, Loki was pretty sure that was what was keeping Thanos stranded on Titan, and Thanos needed the power of an infinity stone to leave; the space stone. Where had Odin learned to cast spells such as these? His power was not of the scale required to perform such spells, unless… the space stone. Where had it been before Midgard? Had Odin hidden it there after using it? 

Hela wilted. “So you can’t free me.” 

“It is...unlikely, but not altogether impossible that I could remove the spell, but… it would likely take decades, maybe even centuries.”


End file.
